Flu Free Guarantee

14 05 2009

Cancun

When old soldiers gather together they exchange tales of brushes with death while comparing old war wounds. When old travellers gather together they exchange tales of brushes with death while comparing tropical diseases. Because, let’s face it, you really can’t claim to be an adventurer until you’ve lost a digit to frostbite or started a conversation with “When I had malaria…”

Likewise, I would bet that anyone who sidles up to a bar now and casually says “I’ve just got over Swine Flu…” would likely be plied with free drinks until they tell the full story of their bout with H1N1.

Of course, there’s nothing humourous about diseases, especially tropical ones that kill millions of people in the developing world each year. But the occasional well-treated and thoroughly-defeated exotic disease for an intrepid traveller is a badge of honour that can be great fodder for dinner conversation for decades to come. Now however, such an infection can actually provide a free vacation…or three.

The recent outbreak of H1N1 has made headlines throughout the world, claimed the lives of more than 60 people and practically decimated Mexican tourism. But Mexico is fighting back!

So confident is Mexico’s Caribbean coast that the risk of contracting Swine Flu is over, that earlier this week several hotels on the Mayan Riviera offered free vacations to any tourist who catches H1N1 while on holiday there. Forget t-shirts and postcards, it’s a good virus that visitors are queuing up to take home these days!

“The ‘flu-free guarantee’ assures three years of free holidays to travellers who present flu symptoms eight days after returning from their trip,” explained one hotel group.

Another resort explained that the offer applied only to Influenza A-H1N1 and that guests “…must provide positive blood results, taken within five days of departure from the resort in addition to the certification of the doctor who performed the test in order to redeem the three free stays.”

“The guest must also not have been previously diagnosed with Influenza A-H1N1 prior to their stay,” they added.

No word as to whether the offer also applies to people who don’t wash their hands, get enough sleep, eat properly, sneeze without covering their mouths…or don’t listen to their mothers!